The G spot and Its Role In Making A Woman Come

The G spot

Unless you’ve been living without an internet connection and not watching porn for the last twenty years, you’re almost certain to have heard about the G spot, even if you don’t know how it operates in your woman’s body.

It’s an erogenous zone (and how often do you hear that wonderful expression used these days? An erogenous zone is just a part of the body which is particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation, in case you didn’t know that).

So, there’s this special erogenous zone inside the vagina – the G spot – which is able to produce very pleasurable and intense sexual and orgasmic feelings.

And science, good old science, has demonstrated every woman has a G spot, although in some women it seems to be very elusive. You know this? Either you have trouble locating its physical structure, or you can’t stimulate it in a way which produces pleasure in a woman, let alone makes her come…. damn those porno films! It looks so easy there…

But this is hardly surprising really, because for years even the medical profession didn’t accept there was such a thing as the G spot, so how can a poor woman (who was merely born with one) be sure there was such a thing either?!

The truth is that these days MRI scans have demonstrated every woman has a G spot, and every woman is therefore capable of different, enhanced or even more powerful orgasms with squirting or gushing as an optional extra!

If you’re not sure about your woman’s G spot, keep in mind that it just isn’t the same in all women, so you might find the descriptions you read on the Internet don’t apply to you or your partner.

Still want to try and find it? Look – no, feel – on the upper wall of the vagina as your woman lies on her back, anywhere from near the entrance to about 2 inches inside.

This area is either highly sensitive in its own right, or it lies over highly sensitive tissue, but in either case, touching it will produce feelings of sexual pleasure (or something!)

The sensations vary from woman to woman; for example, one description which has been used is something like a warm flushing feeling that moves deeply through the entire body.

Other women find it’s a kind of emotional experience rather than a physical experience. But it can certainly be a much deeper experience than she’ll get from stimulation of the clitoris alone, and the feelings do have an emotional component (as well as a sexual component) for many women.

The Female Prostate

The female prostate is another term for the G spot, the reason being that its tissue seems to be similar to that of the male prostate gland, and it can produce chemicals similar to those made by the male prostate.

Sure, there’s no reason for this fluid to be produced in woman, so you can regard this as the same sort of phenomenon as male nipples – they have no function in terms of child-rearing, but they just happen to be in the genes, just like the female prostate.

One interesting similarity between the male prostate and the female G spot is that when the G spot and prostate are stimulated  by sexual arousal, they do produce a kind of fluid.

In a woman, this is unlike any other kind of fluid produced during clitoral stimulation (when you’d most likely experience vaginal lubrication).

Some women say they ejaculate a clear fluid and some women say they ejaculate a white milky fluid with an orgasm indueced by G Spot stimulation.

For Women – Coming To The G Spot

We’ll come onto that in another post. Here, we’d like to describe how a woman can find her G spot.

Lie on your back, and relax, making sure you will have time when you’re not going to be disturbed, time in which you can enjoy pleasuring yourself.

Bend your knees up, and spread your legs, so that your vagina is easily accessible. Locate your hand in front of your vagina with the palm facing up, and insert one or two fingers inside. As you do so, press them up against the upper vaginal wall an inch or two inside.

You’ll feel some spongy, ridged tissue, which may not necessarily feel like it’s going to give you any pleasurable sensations.

Gently massaging this area with plenty of lubricant, particularly when you’re fantasizing sexually, or sexually aroused, will likely produce a change in the texture as you get more aroused.

The texture of the area will change from ridged to smooth and full – this is engorgement with fluid due to sexual arousal. At some point you may find you suddenly have an urge to urinate – which is a sign you’ve found your G spot and you’re in the right place.

Some women think it feels as if they’re going to urinate, but this is a sensation which will pass quite quickly if you continue to stimulate your G spot. If you’re in any doubt about this, empty your bladder before starting your exploration.

As you continue stimulating the area, you’re going to probably find a different kind of sensation, more pleasurable, beginning to develop.

So now, experiment with different pressures, different forms of touch, different speeds of movement, and different types of movement, to see what happens.

If you’re on your own, there’s no reason to feel worried or inhibited about what’s going to happen (whatever that is) – if you can, simply decide that you can let yourself go, and enjoy an orgasm if it develops.

If you’re worried about producing fluid or squirting, then simply put some thick towels underneath you so there’s no danger of a mess in the bed.

And if you’re with a partner, and you’d like him (or her) to explore your G spot, a great way to start is to have him or her insert two well-lubed fingers inside your vagina and move them gently along the upper vaginally wall – and don’t forget, the more aroused you are, the more it’s going to swell, and the more obvious it will be….. so why not delay finger entry into the vagina, and his or her search for the elusive G spot, until you’re feeling some degree of sexual arousal?

Clitoral stimulation can arouse you sexually, until, at a certain point, a finger or two in your vagina will become beautifully pleasurable in combination with clitoral stimulation.

Of course a man who’s stimulating in this way has no way of knowing what feels good to you, so give him some feedback, and explaining to him how you’d like him to move his finger – in circles, from side to side, backwards and forwards, whatever.

But the important thing is that when he begins to do something which feels good to you, you should tell him to continue!

And you may wish to ask him to experiment with harder pressure – the G spot is tough enough, even though it feels soft and swollen!

In the next post we’re going to look at sex moves which can really help you enjoy G spot stimulation.

Different Types of Orgasm

Of course nowadays we know that sexual intercourse is not going to make most women orgasm because it doesn’t stimulate the clitoris, and clitoral stimulation is how most women get off during sex. Read Naomi Wolf on the issue of good physiology and orgasm.

But what is the difference in terms of emotional maturity or sexual maturity between clitoral stimulation to orgasm and vaginal stimulation to orgasm? (A very Freudian idea, yes?)

While it is true that some women can come through stimulation of the vagina alone, they are very much in a minority. Current thinking is that women who can reach orgasm during intercourse are a small minority, between 10 and 15% at most. More importantly, it seems many if not all of these women are in fact reaching orgasm because somehow their clitoris is receiving stimulation during sexual intercourse, during lovemaking.

And it turns out on further investigation that these women mostly have a clitoris located much nearer to the vaginal opening than the “average” woman does. Apparently if your clitoris is located more than 2.5 cm from the vaginal opening – well, no orgasm during intercourse for you…. (assuming, of course, you are in fact a woman).

Clitoris vagina distance may determine female orgasm frequency
The distance between clitoris and vagina may determine how easily you reach orgasm during sex. This picture suggests why. It’s all about proximity of penis and clitoris and the resulting stimulation.

This theory goes on to suggest it’s the movements of the man’s body, or the combined movement of the male and female body together, which makes the woman come. In other words, the closer a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the more chance that woman has of receiving the kind of stimulation during intercourse which will make her come, or bring her off.

All of which suggests there really isn’t much difference between clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm.

They’re probably just variations of the same thing. But I will say that some women do seem to need to be emotionally open before they fully feel the pleasurable sensations of sexual intercourse in the vagina. This is another topic, and we’ll cover it somewhere else on this blog.

Bringing A Woman Off With The G Spot

We know some women have an intense orgasm when they are “made to come” through stimulation of the G spot.

Sometimes this is an adjunct to clitoral stimulation with a tongue or finger pleasuring a woman’s clitoris, where a man inserts his finger inside a woman while he is pleasuring her, and she experiences a particularly intense orgasm. Is this a separate and different thing to the “clitoral orgasm”? Is it, indeed, a vaginal orgasm?

Anatomy of the clitoris
Anatomy of the clitoris – it extends around the vagina.

Who knows?  It turns out that the clitoris extends around and down on both sides of the vagina, which means stimulation of the inside of the vagina can also stimulate parts of the clitoral body. But I think the real question is this: “Does it even matter?”

Surely what matters most is that a man can make a woman come, or give her an orgasm, in the way that feels best for her, that she is pleasured in a way which is fulfilling and satisfying to her, and that she has no expectations of needing to have a G spot orgasm, squirting or gushing put onto her by her man. (Or indeed his expectations that he can give her an orgasm.)

Video – G Spot

If she wants to explore those pleasures, or she is willing to respond to a suggestion by her man that she might explore squirting and gushing, then so be it. Yet a woman does not need to do this: it’s her choice, and it’s entirely up to her, how she reaches orgasm, and indeed if they’re communicating well, showing her man the best way to give a woman an orgasm so he knows how to make her come.

The G Spot Mystery

A great video! Says it all!
(ps: Yoni = Vagina)

Let’s suppose a woman does want to explore G spot stimulation.

The G spot is an area inside the vagina which appears to be different in form to the rest of the internal structure of the vagina. One theory is that it’s made up of tissue, otherwise called the paraurethral sponge, which has distinct similarities to the prostatic tissue in men.

This tissue can produce a fluid, under sexual stimulation, which may squirt out of the urethra via the Skene’s glands.

Skenes Glands
Skene’s Glands
G spot orgasms for women
Female anatomy – the G spot

The G Spot seems to be stimulated most easily from inside the vagina’s  upper wall as a woman lies on her back. As she becomes aroused, an area of tissue about between 1 and 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper wall changes texture and shape – from something quite rough and ridged to something smooth and voluptuous – as her arousal increases.

Many women find stimulation of this area – which is the G spot – very pleasurable indeed, and they can come to orgasm this way even if their clitoris isn’t being stimulated.

Even for women who can’t reach orgasm in this way, stimulation of the G spot seems to make the clitoral orgasm even more intense than it otherwise would be.

So there’s undoubtedly something there: but the interesting thing is how some women report that when the G spot is stimulated they feel sensations which are unpleasant, a fact which has been interpreted by some spiritual sex experts over the years to mean that sexual trauma is stored in the G spot, and there is a need for a process of healing or “awakening” before a woman is able to reach orgasm easily through G spot stimulation.

Tantric sex therapy bears this out: it has demonstrated that stimulation of the G spot can produce all kinds of emotional release: crying, laughing, anger, fear, sadness guilt, shame – all of these emotions, and more, appear to be triggered by simulation of the G spot in a woman where this she is, for want of a better word, “closed”.

One idea is that every sexual trauma – which might include something as apparently insignificant as an act of agreed-upon but unwanted sexual intercourse – produces some kind of body memory which is stored somehow in an area which is accessed through the G spot.

For men who are new to this, stimulating the G spot in their woman for the first time can produce extraordinary emotional responses: it’s absolutely essential you don’t respond as if this is directed at you, particularly if your woman’s releasing anger, because she is releasing repressed emotions from the long ago past.

This process in some way “opens” the woman’s body up to the possibility of greater sexual pleasure than may be achieved through clitoral stimulation alone.

We know that the G spot is supplied by a different set of nerves to the clitoris, and it could therefore be that the stimulation of the G spot is activating a different nerve complex which feels different and indeed produces a different sexual experience for the woman.

From female orgasm facts: The vaginal orgasm involves both pudendal and pelvic nerves; the clitoral orgasm involves just the pudendal nerves (there’s more information on this aspect of sexual anatomy below).

Basically the clitoral nerve complex is supplied by the pelvic nerve, whereas the vaginal nerve supply comes from the pudendal nerve. These nerves have different functions and connect into different areas of the body, so they may well be responsible for the different quality of emotions that come from sexual stimulation of the various parts of a woman’s body.

If you’re a kind of curious type, you might be interested in finding out more and reading up on how to make a woman climax, but essentially, as long as you and your partner are finding satisfying ways to receive sexual pleasure and you’re doing it within your own sexual boundaries, and you’re enjoying orgasms on a regular basis, there’s no reason why you necessarily should want to explore these different aspects of female sexuality… at least, that’s what I say, but some people would maintain that reaching high levels of sexual pleasure is the only necessary justification for continuing exploration of your own body and its sexual potential.

How To Make A Woman Climax

The Art Of Pleasuring

Bringing a woman to orgasm is very much a male skill. And many men do know how to give a woman an orgasm. That’s just as well! For even though young women may wish to have uncomplicated (and for that matter uncommitted) sex in the same ways as men, most women still want sex within the context of a loving relationship – that’s how women are programmed.

So a man who wants to get and keep a woman should be a sexual master – or at least should know how to make his woman come when she wants him to bring her to orgasm!

Video – how to bring a woman to orgasm

Although this video is designed for women to inform them about their bodies, it’s great for men who want to be sure of what the’re doing too!

Most women, like most men, reach orgasm for the first time through masturbation. It’s quite obvious that any woman who wants to know how to come (climax, orgasm, cum) is going to explore her own body, in response to the sexual urges she feels, and she’s also going to become familiar with the best way, for her, of reaching orgasm.

Of course if she has any experience with men, she’ll understand that most men aren’t too bothered how their penis is stimulated – they will still have a pleasurable orgasm anyway, whether it be by fellatio, masturbation or intercourse.

But the same may not be true in reverse, which is why men need to know how to make a woman come through the kind of stimulation that’s right for her.

Although it might seem like an obvious thing to say, if you’re a woman and you’re having difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner, the obvious place to start learning how to come is on your own by enjoying self-stimulation or masturbation.

You can learn to come on your own more easily than you can with a partner, because there are all kinds of pressures and concerns which arise when a man’s with you that you won’t feel when you’re on your own.

Indeed, transferring what you’ve learned about bringing yourself  off (i.e. reaching orgasm) into the relationship you’re in with a man can feel quite embarrassing – but it’s a natural thing for a man and woman to get together and make love, and it’s helpful if you have ways of overcoming your embarrassment.

The first thing to do, unsurprisingly, is to simply tell your partner how you feel; simply to communicate your nervousness or joy or excitement or anticipation, maybe your shame or guilt or embarrassment, if that’s what you’re feeling, to your male or female partner (yes – female! There’s no harm in learning how to make yourself come as a woman with another woman – after all who can understand your body better than another woman?)

Sometimes couples are so embarrassed about communicating about sexual issues that they can’t get it together and have an enjoyable sex life! This really isn’t helpful – open and honest communication between people who are in a relationship is always necessary to establish good sexual connection.

But even if you do find it difficult to use the language of words, you can still use the language of love – you can caress, stroke, kiss, use your hands and tongue to explore each other’s body.

Problems Reaching Orgasm

Remember, if you, as a woman, have problems reaching orgasm, part of the issue might be the phase of the menstrual cycle – because your ability to reach orgasm, and indeed your partner’s ability to make you come, will depend on your level of hormones: some women have an experience of feeling sexy halfway through the cycle, and some feel particularly sexy just before the period starts.

Other women don’t want sex at all during certain parts of their menstrual cycle – it’s all normal, and it’s all perfectly acceptable.

We have a post on various ways in which a woman can stimulate herself to orgasm on this page, but for the moment, remember that practice, practice, practice, makes perfect!

Clitoral and G spot orgasm

You might come across the idea that some women have clitoral orgasms and some people have vaginal orgasms. You might even have heard of G spot orgasms, U spot orgasms, A spot orgasms, uterine orgasms, anal orgasms, and cervical orgasms.

Goodness me, this is like a positive rainbow of orgasms! Nobody ever talks of men having anal orgasms, for example, although it is possible to bring a man off through stimulating his prostate, without any stimulation to his penis.

But in terms of women’s orgasms, what does all this mean?

Sigmund Freud, one of the founders of psychotherapy, said that the clitoral orgasm was an “immature form” of orgasm, in other words, that women who could reach orgasm through simulation of the clitoris were somehow less sexually mature than women who could reach orgasm through stimulation of the inside of the vagina – in particular, of course during thrusting in sexual intercourse. We’ll see why this is not true in the next post.

The Art Of Bringing Her Off

How to bring a woman to orgasm more easily:

First of all, take your time – find out when you can both relax and be together without any expectations or time pressure on you. This will help you both relax, and help her achieve orgasm, because she knows this time is devoted to her pleasure.

Don’t try to make a woman come as if it’s a competition: that’s to say, either in terms of the time it takes to bring to your woman to orgasm (beating your own record!), or by assessing the power of her orgasm (wanting her to have a massive orgasm!), or by having some kind of mental competition with the next man (am I doing as well as him?)… Or indeed anything else.

Enjoy making a woman come
Enjoy making a woman come! Don’t rush it. You aren’t being judged for success or failure….

The more relaxed you are about this, the better. As women often say before pleasuring starts, “It doesn’t matter if I don’t come.” And the reason they say this is because they aren’t certain they are going to experience an orgasm. Although it may sound odd to you, often a woman doesn’t even know if she wants to have an orgasm before sexual play starts. Read this for more on what sex means to a woman.

So talk to her, and make sure you both understand what’s required, what’s expected, and more importantly than anything, what’s wanted.

In bringing a woman to orgasm, you need to create a romantic atmosphere and make sure everything is comfortable. You’ll have seen, perhaps, how a woman can be distracted when she’s nearing the point of orgasm by some external disturbance or noise that makes her arousal completely drop away.

What’s it mean? Just that women are biologically programmed in a different way to men, and this should play into how you approach your lovemaking.

Foreplay

Although we talk about foreplay on another page of this website, the reality is that foreplay is absolutely essential for bringing a woman to orgasm. It’s foreplay that will arouse her, it’s foreplay that will make her feel romantic, it’s foreplay that will put her in the mood to reach orgasm – and the more time you take to stimulate her whole body, the more likely she is to be able to move easily into a mental place where you can make her come, where she is going reach orgasm.

You see, this is about being comfortable in her body, and feeling sexually aroused through physical touch. As a man, you’re probably more aroused by physical touch to the penis than anything else, but women require simulation to their whole body before they’re aroused enough to reach orgasm.

Touching is an essential part of foreplay
Touch her everywhere – and leave the sexual parts till last!

Remember as you stimulate her clitoris to make sure you know how to do this in a way she likes, and use plenty of lubricant – her own vaginal lubricant, or an artificial lube such as coconut oil.

Making Your Woman Climax Isn’t Difficult

In fact coming, aka cumming, or climaxing, isn’t as easy for most women as it is for men. That’s why men need to know how to make a woman come, because most women just aren’t sexually programmed in the same way as men.

For one thing, they have much less testosterone, which seems to be the hormone that gives men their powerful sexual drive – and is also undoubtedly responsible for men being able to reach orgasm so easily and so quickly.

Even nowadays, there are some men who aren’t aware that women can’t come as easily as men. I see Internet porn as being responsible for that, because it often shows women screaming in delight at the slightest touch, and squirting fluid everywhere at the moment of orgasm!

Yet while some women can reach orgasm easily, and some can ejaculate, most women simply don’t reach orgasm that easily.

Young women who are brought up in a culture where sexual expectations are, at least to some extent, formed by porn seen on the Internet by young men, might come to the conclusion there’s something wrong with them if they can’t orgasm every time “on demand”.

Video – How Often Do Women Come?

Know How To Make A Woman Come And Never Look Back!

These days, we are fortunate that most medics, and most sexual therapists and counselors, are very well aware that it’s natural for a woman to reach orgasm, even if she doesn’t necessarily do so very easily, and a woman also expects her man to help her to reach orgasm willingly (and to know how to make her come, know how to give her an orgasm), in return for sharing the pleasure of sexual intercourse with her.

Making A Woman Orgasm

Coming To Good Sex

Many men want to know how to make a woman come, but experiencing sexual arousal and reaching orgasm follow different paths in a woman than they do in a man.

A man may come quickly
Self pleasuring can make a man come quickly…

As a man, you’re no doubt very experienced in reaching orgasm – you’ve probably been practicing since you were a teenager! You know that a regular rhythm of stimulation to the penis, either gentle and soft, or hard and fast, according to your personal preference and sensitivity, will generally result in an orgasm very quickly: the orgasm might be long or short, depending on how long it is since you last ejaculated, but in general it’ll be pleasurable to a greater or lesser degree….

You then lose interest in sex and your sexual arousal drops quickly, but in general it’s quite a short time before you’re interested in having another orgasm – although as men age, the time between orgasms tends to increase.

... but for a woman, orgasm can take much longer to achieve and may need a safe and loving environment.
… but for a woman, orgasm can take much longer to achieve and may need a safe and loving environment.

For a woman, this kind of mechanical stimulus and response doesn’t apply so much. Knowing how to make a woman come depends on many factors. One of the reasons for this is that women tend to be much more dependent on emotional and mental stimuli for orgasm than men are.

So for example, a romantic and loving atmosphere, in comfortable and pleasant surroundings, with a partner who is not only liked but trusted, are precursors for most women to reach orgasm easily.

Sure, we’ve all heard of the one night stands that young women in particular are enjoying these days, but the truth of the matter is that for most women, the old standards still apply: while having sex is easy, reaching orgasm is not so easy… unless there’s a romantic atmosphere and a partner who is appreciated, trusted and loved present.

Pleasuring a woman
Orgasm for a woman often requires the presence of a trusted partner

Further, there’s a degree of skill required on a man’s part when he seeks to make a woman come, or to stimulate a woman to orgasm, because he has to know how to be sensitive to her level of arousal, and to “follow” her arousal as it dips and increases during sexual stimulation.

Finally, since most women do reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, it’s essential that a woman’s sexual partner is skilled in stimulating her clitoris in a way that is going to please her and make her reach orgasm.

Sexual Intercourse and Orgasm

The reality is that sexual intercourse alone does not make most women come. The simple reason for this is that the clitoris doesn’t receive the necessary level of stimulation.

Regardless of what you read or hear about G spot orgasms, or vaginal orgasms, the majority of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, although the intensity and pleasure of her orgasm might be increased if she has a penis or finger inside her vagina at the time she reaches orgasm.

But, much as you might not like to hear it, women don’t reach orgasm through thrusting during intercourse alone. Or rather, the vast majority of them do not reach orgasm this way. (The coital alignment technique may offer an exception to this.)

Figures vary, according to who you read, and what agenda they’re pushing, about how many women are able to reach orgasm through intercourse, but I think it’s fair to say that it’s around 10 to 15%.

Just to make it clear, we’re talking about sexual intercourse without any additional clitoral stimulation: lots of women can reach orgasm during intercourse if either they or their partner also stimulates the clitoris with either fingers or a vibrator, but enjoyable though that might be, it’s not the same thing as a man making a woman come with thrusting alone. 

So how can you bring a woman to orgasm, to make her come, reliably?

Well, the first thing is that you’re probably going to be looking for a technique which appeals to your particular partner.

Most women like oral sex – in fact, there are many surveys which demonstrate that women’s favourite sexual activity is oral pleasure with a trusted partner, but I think it requires quite a mature man to be able to take a woman from the beginning of her arousal to orgasm through oral stimulation alone.

Video – Can women come through intercourse alone?

For one thing, oral stimulation can be slightly uncomfortable if the woman is lying on the bed, and any discomfort a man experiences such as a cricked neck or pain in his back, is going to distract him from his focus on pleasuring his woman. Bringing her to orgasm requires attention, focus, and more than anything, a kind of mental state where you’re really focused on what you’re doing – giving your partner an orgasm – rather than thinking about distractions.

Some women prefer to reach orgasm in other ways: from frottage, the rubbing of bodies together, manual stimulation (masturbation), or using a vibrator – these are all high on the list of pleasurable sexual techniques that can give woman orgasmic satisfaction.

But the thing is, if you’re a man, you probably assume you should know how to make a woman reach orgasm without being told. Regrettably, that’s a common impression in our culture: something to do with the inherent cultural expectations put on men. The truth is that all women are different, in both major and minor ways, but they all have different expectations and requirements of their sexual partner.

So how are you going to know what your partner wants if you don’t ask her?

You can’t simply assume that because you knew how to make your previous woman come with a certain type of stimulation, your current girlfriend is going to respond in a similar way! Indeed, doing so is a recipe for disaster! As a sexual technique, this ranks somewhere alongside asking a woman “Have you come yet?” (i.e. it’s a very bad idea!)